Five Craft Beers you’ve possibly never tasted

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
Henry Lawson

The great Australian poet, chronicler of the bush and out-swing bowler makes a salient point. There is something just a little awry in our DNA that is quickly remedied by the great social lubricant. In fact, this underlines the fallacy that is “intelligent design” or Creationism. If indeed we were created by a divine being, then why the hell do we need beer? Ipso facto the existence of beer could well be the divine proof we’ve been seeking all these millennia. I’ll take it up with George Pell next time he drops by The Harold Park for a schooner or two.

Why this sudden interest in beer, I hear you ask.
What do you mean sudden, I hear from the back of the room.
Very well I’ll come clean.

We at Seeing Things are about to embark on a Web Series focusing on Beer.
Not just the stuff, which as you are no doubt aware, comes in an ever more astounding array of “craft” brews. In fact I was about to suggest that every man and his dog could brew a beer these days, but I’ve just discovered he already has.

Where was I? Oh yes, NOT just the stuff, but what goes on around it. The chat, the humour, the flirting, the politics, the hogwash, the beer goggles, the solution to everything wrong with the world. All taking place every day of the year (except maybe good Friday – yet another hole in the Creationist argument) in the comfort and shelter of some of the most interesting and invariably singular structures ever erected in this country. I speak of Pubs of course. What is it about a Pub that makes it the great social leveler?

I mean, if Tony Abbot walked into your local and offered to buy you a beer you would probably say, “Umm…okay then”.
Not that you’d buy him one back ’cos he only drinks middies of light and as everyone knows, people who drink light beer get more enjoyment out of pissing then they do drinking.

So to the series, which is yet un-named but will contain an infinite number of beers, veteran scribe and much loved TV critic Doug Anderson and an assortment of people you’d just love to knock back a couple with.

In the meantime, I’ve been hard at work collating some of the more rare and exotic Craft Brews that may ( or may not) be gracing a Tap near you.

Toad Grobbler.
Buffo Brewing Company. Moisty Lane Staffordshire U.K.
A cloudy, unfiltered and somewhat yeasty Belgian Style beer “spawned” rather than brewed with imported sugar cane tailings from North Queensland. Best on an empty stomach – with a bucket handy. Keep your eye out for their Warty Newt Lager, coming soon.

Sloppy Seconds.
Two Fat Chicks Brewery, Bogan Queensland.
What more can we say!
Four Gold Medals at the Minto International Beer Fest & Burn Out! Not to everyone’s taste but certainly popular within its demographic. Best with meat……any meat.

Nun’s Nasty. Very Dark Ale.
Sisters of Perpetual Incontinence, North Piddle Abbey, Worcestershire.
A traditional Porter Style Brew known for its resonant bitter palate and smoked haddock after-tones. Residue can be a bit of a shock.

“Barbara Cartland” Pink Lager.
Olde Queene Brewery, Nether Wallop, Hertfordshire U.K.
An outwardly demure, somewhat coquettish, fizzy crowd pleaser – harboring thrusting, turgid protuberances for those who can stick with it.
Best with a Bex and a good lie down

Scrawny Cock I.P.A.
No Fixed Address, Bellingen N.S.W.
Last of the original Boutique Brews to holdout against the majors, its leathery texture, over abundance of tannins and trademark “reflux” render it virtually un-drinkable. Yet “The Cock” stands as a sentinel for a tradition of brewers who try, fail and for reasons known only to themselves – persist.

…..and there’s more where that came from!

Cheers,
Mark Leonard
One of the people who are Seeing Things

And if you are really serious about Beer and Hospitality check out Clyde Mooney’s excellent industry E-Zine, PubTIC > www.pubtic.com.au

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